Why are you an Uncaged Bird? (1)

After writing yesterday’s post and reflecting on the questions, I realized:

“I am an Uncaged Bird, because I am so much more – and so much better – than all the stereotypes people try to burden me with!”


Why are you an Uncaged Bird? If you don’t feel you’ve gotten there yet: Why do you want to be?


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What’s Your Potential?

I know I’ve been lax with posting this year. Even the ideas that I have don’t seem to untangle themselves enough for me to form them into coherent new posts. I could say that other work has been keeping my mentally and physically occupied (and that would certain not be untrue), but I know that’s not the entire story. So, while I’m still waiting for my own personal brand of writer’s block to work itself to its natural conclusion, I want to share some coaching questions with you that I plan to investigate in my own journal (via http://www.dumblittleman.com).

Why does a coach need coaching questions?”, you might ask?

As someone who makes their living coaching, I am maybe more aware of the non-productive habits and internal negative talk that form stumbling blocks in my own life. When I’m not discussing those issues with another coach (yes, coaches use coaches!), I either meditate or journal about questions, knowing their answers provide an important key to any issue I’m wrestling with. These can be questions that pop into my mind intuitively or in my dreams, or they can be questions that I discover in articles or books that resonate strongly with me.

Why now?

I don’t know how your 2013 has been going, but mine has been a roller coaster ride of new opportunities and experiences. On more than one occasion I have felt like a girl who – with a lot of effort and sweat – has finally climbed her way to the top of the diving tower, only to step out to the edge, look down, and ask herself: “What the heck am I doing up here? What the heck was I thinking????”

Be careful what bold, big ideas you choose to manifest in your life, and have a plan to actually LIVE that life once those ideas begin to take on form and structure…

  • Are you standing at an important juncture in your life?
  • Do you feel like it’s time for a (big) change?
  • Or would you simply like to take stock of where you’ve come from, in order to get a better feel for where you are?

Here are some questions that can help you connect the dots and fill in the pieces. You might want to answer them all, or only the ones that especially resonate with you. You may want to write down your answers (which I strongly recommend), or simply meditate on them. Whatever you choose to do, give yourself the present of time with yourself: To better know and understand who are are, what makes you tick, and which star(s) you should be reaching for!

  1. What one thing makes YOU unique and special?
  2. How do you think the people around you see you?
  3. If money were no object, how would you be spending your time?
  4. What do you do for a living? (Bonus question: And why is it not what you wrote in #3?)
  5. What are you grateful for?
  6. If tomorrow were your last day on Earth, would you be happy with the life you’ve led?
  7. What is the one movie or book you don’t mind diving into over and over again?
  8. If someone made a film about your life, what would it be like?
  9. Are you a better person today than you were a year ago? What about 10 years ago?
  10. What was your last random act of kindness?
  11. How many hours a day do you spend on unproductive things (Facebook, TV, gossip)?
  12. Who is making most of the decisions in your life?
  13. What would you do if you lost all your money?
  14. What is the one thing you fear about growing/being old?
  15. Most importantly: What do you do with the insights you gain about yourself?

The final question is the most important one. I’d love to hear from any of you who’d like to share their answer to that one!

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Success in (High) Heels

Congratulations, dear Lillian, and all the awesome ladies who contributed to this book!!


30 Women from Around the World
A Powerful Message from Each One
A Desire to Impact Lives All Over the Globe
Success in (High) Heels

book now  #successheels

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The Word of the Week…


1. The act of rising from the dead or returning to life.
2. The state of one who has returned to life.
3. The act of bringing back to practice, notice, or use; revival.

After being on the road for business for several days, I slid into the Easter weekend thinking about both the Christian and non-Christian significance of the season. The choice of the “Word of the Week” was therefore pretty much a no-brainer. However, due to a death in my family on Easter Sunday, my thoughts about this entry were thrown off track. Losing someone you love seems to be the very antithesis of what the Easter story calls for us to celebrate. My mind was suddenly blank.

A Facebook friend also lost a loved one this past weekend, and – before flying off to join her family for the funeral – she wrote a quick post sharing how facing this death had affected her outlook on life. This loss has had an impact on the way she wants to experience life in the future, and – in memory of her loved one – she’s committed to making some changes.

Her post really touched me and made me feel melancholy at the same time. Maybe because she is quite a bit younger than me, and I intuitively felt that she still has so many more option than I do?

That feeling only lasted for a short time. Early this morning I discovered an article online that not only touched me in a similar way; it also pushed me past the temporary feeling of stagnation and self-pity that were paralyzing me.

Called “20 Good Habits You Need To Start In Your 20s” I immediately realized that these are not only great suggestions for those just starting their adult lives. The article also helped me remember that…

…it’s never too late to start doing the right things in your life!

20. Focus on the activities and people that make you happy.
19. Trust you instincts on new opportunities.
18. Build the courage to face your fears.
17. Focus on the resources you already have a access to
16. Be less busy, and more productive.
15. Make your goals your priorities.
14. Accept your humanness.
13. Seek less approval from others.
12. Ignore society’s comparisons.
11. Believe in your ability to succeed.
10. Manage your money before it starts managing you.
09. Let the wrong people go.
08. Appreciate your true friends and return the favor.
07. Understand right from wrong.
06. Choose happiness.
05. Learn to cope with anger effectively.
04. Make your own destiny.
03. Create priorities.
02. Stay away from a routine-based life.
01. Always keep in mind that life is somewhat predictable.

I would love to hear some of you share which one resonates most with you – and why!


In Memory of Russell Davis (1950 – 2013). You are loved. You will be missed.

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Question on “Word of the Week”

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The Word of the Week*…


Are we the products of our environment – or are we the products of expectations?

What do you think, ladies?

  • What societal expectations of you as an Afro-European woman shape the way you perceive your possibilities in life/your career?
  • What positive expectations (from family, your community or from within) empower you to combat any negative societal expectations you encounter?


Find out more about The Other Wes Moore and Discovering Wes Moore!


*Click the link to listen to this week’s podcast

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African Women and Girl Storytellers in the Digital Age

Are you familiar with the Kitchen Table Conversations? Initiated by Spectra – an award-winning Nigerian writer, women’s rights activist, storyteller, digital media consultant and philanthropist – these podcasts provide unexpected insight into the lives of activists, organizers and thought leaders.

To find out more about Kitchen Table Conversations, as well as learn more about an upcoming live podcast scheduled for March 13th focusing on Gender, Media and the African Diaspora, check out

Spectra Speaks: Our Voices. Our Stories. Our Revolution.

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